


Body Politic

by Roadsterguy



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, Depression, F/M, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gay Sex, Gen, Literal Sleeping Together, Loss, Love, Love Triangles, M/M, Pain, Post-Apocalypse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Regret, Sex, Starvation, Tony Stark Needs Sleep, love the one you're with
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:22:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25314517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roadsterguy/pseuds/Roadsterguy
Summary: A post-IW  vignette, Steve's thoughts when he's with Tony.  Missing Bucky, missing who he used to be.  Thank you to Kahvi for the inspiration.
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Kudos: 11





	Body Politic

_The best thing about sex_ , Bucky had told him, _is how relaxed you are afterwards! Brain just empty, the best sleep ever..._

Well, it wasn't that way for Steve. Maybe it would have been that way if he had sex with Bucky? And - there he went again. Post-orgasmic, sated, slowly deflating and slipping out, and his mind was revving itself up to run in circles again. He had two chances to tell Bucky how he felt. And he had missed both of them.

"Couple grand for your thoughts."

"Just... thinking about the past." Bucky would feel different in his arms, too, surely. Tony was so full of brashness and braggadocio, it was easy to forget how small he was - scrawny, like Steve used to be. He sometimes worried he'd get a little carried away and break the man. Especially now. _He'll recover_ , the doctor had said. _But it won't be fast. Months, could be over a year._

"Miss it?" Tony's body twitched slightly around him as he continued to deflate, slipping out a little more. 'Halcyon days? Roaring back from the Depression?" He didn't mention Bucky. He never did.

"I believed in things." Steve put his head down, resting it slightly on Tony's shoulder. The man always smelled just faintly of ozone, of smoke, even though he didn't smoke. Maybe it was the lab. "The New Deal. All of those dams and bridges and roads. They're still around today. The war. The government."

"Then you grew up, and saw what it was really like."

He had such ease with such casually offensive little statements. It was hard to not take it personally, no matter what Colonel Rhodes said, no matter how many years it had been. "I learned that having this body doesn't help with the real problems. I thought it would _fix_ things. That's the only reason I got it." He didn't like it. Too big. Too much space, too _much_. A bull in the china shop of the world.

"Well, if you don't like it, change it."

Again, such casually offensive little statements. _Put into a metal coffin, fire in his veins, his body twisting and changing, uncontrollably. Emerging different, altered, not himself anymore. The recognition in Bucky's eyes when they talked about it,_ after _everything._ "Easy for you to say."

"No." Tony's eyes opened, then, turning to look up at Steve. "It's not easy for me to say, Steve. None of this has a thing to do with _ease_. It's just what... has to be done."

But there was what had to be done, and what _had to be done_. It was easier to think about the latter. Not himself. _Others_. Doing for others. It helped him not think about himself as much. "Let's talk about it later."

Tony's eyes closed again. "Suit yourself."

 _He sleeps when you're with him_ , Pepper had said. _Pretty much the only time_. So it was something he could do. Something he could do to help. Lie there, holding the sleeping man, letting his mind run amok.


End file.
